Day 1 - Surgery

L didn't want to eat last night. I tried a couple of times to interest him in taking a few more ounces but he refused. The bite-the-nipple-spit-out-the-milk-give-me-a-dirty-look-what-the-HECK-are-you-doing! refusal. Oooookay little buddy. You win. 

He woke up while we were getting him ready for surgery, but wasn't his normal hungry, fussy self. He was happy and content and fell asleep with T's magical baby whisperer touch. Answered prayer right there. So is the caliber of physicians and nurses caring for our son. Phenomenal people with phenomenal talent. Thank you Jesus. 

But waiting for your child to get out of complicated surgery performed by said physicians is one of the most unpleasant things I have ever done. Aside from going to the bathroom in a foreign country over a trough of running spring water while the woman squatting in front of you is pooping. Sorry for the visual. (Not really. Now you share my pain!)

I am so sick of TV and my phone and my iPad. I don't want to read a book or a magazine. I'm restless and exhausted and WORRIED at the same time. Walking only winds me up even more. Even my precious Stress Away doesn't help much. 

I can't take anymore so I pump. I pump for a loooooong time. And it works. My boy is out of surgery. It was successfully-fantastically-perfect. They didn't have to put a patch in his ventricles. His pericardium was sufficient. There are no conductivity issues at this time. His repaired valves look GREAT. Especially his mitral valve. We were told to expect leakage. Leakage is normal. There is NO LEAKAGE. We are BLESSED! 

Seeing L for the first time out of surgery is nothing compared to the waiting game I just played. And lost. Even with wires, and tubes, and beeps, and a vent he is beautiful, my boy. 
My beautiful, beautiful boy. And now the waiting game starts anew. 

Thank you Lord for protecting my son in the operating room. Thank you for guiding the hands of the surgeon who repaired his heart in such a complicated, meticulous surgery. Thank you for the other physicians and nurses that assisted in fixing my little boy's broken heart. Thank you for your tender mercies and grace. Thank you.